Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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