I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
