Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
