Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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