turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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