He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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