On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
is wine microwaveable?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
