Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
