Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
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