thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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