so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
