Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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