is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
