Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
