You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The air was thick with penises
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
