We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
