I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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