There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
home. puking in laundry basket.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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