Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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