Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
