think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
