tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i came on her dog
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
