I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
