How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We left the knife in your bed.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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