I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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