And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
