I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
