your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
