Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
