So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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