I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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