Nicole vs. Life
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
