Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
