I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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