she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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