I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
