last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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