I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
