this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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