why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
