She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
