dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
