Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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