They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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