i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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