it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I love you.
Bad choice
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
