my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
