This girl is more easily done than said...
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
cat food counts as protein by the way
You took a bar mat shot.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
