I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
