I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
