just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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