forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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